it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
