Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
