hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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