your parents love me but you hate me
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
