life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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