Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
