honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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