im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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