Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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