dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
