The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
