He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
