I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
