This girl is more easily done than said...
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
