you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize