I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Alive.
So much puke
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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