does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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