i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Randomize