i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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