is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
