I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize