she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
