i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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