I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You can't special order awesome
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize