My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
