is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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