You're so nebulous sometimes
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
