is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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