i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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