Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
