before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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