I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
