Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Everything about him screamed your future.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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