Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
