i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
