I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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