oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
