You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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