Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I love you.
Bad choice
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize