Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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