i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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