So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
