you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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