on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
