No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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