8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
