covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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