is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
