What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize