By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
