You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize