Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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