Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
