I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
How does one acquire holy water?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
