he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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