i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
