all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
