Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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