whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
