Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
