I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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